I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With

Rating NR Formats DVD Genre comedy Starring Jeff Garlin, Gina Gershon, Bonnie Hunt, Sarah Silverman, Dan Castellaneta, Richard Kind Directed by Jeff Garlin Publisher Genius Products External Links Official Genius Products Website

Like so many independent films, I Want Someone to Each Cheese With doesn’t demand your attention. It opens quietly. James (Jeff Garlin) pleads with store clerk Dick (Dan Castellaneta) to sell him junk so he can cheat on his diet, obviously a nightly conversation. James is 39 and an improv actor with Second City in Chicago who lives with his mother. Dumped by his girlfriend and bored during a Compulsive Eaters Anonymous meeting, James goes out for ice cream. He is waited on and given free ice cream by Beth (Sarah Silverman), who asks James if he has ever had a “hoagie shack” (you wouldn’t believe me if I explained it). It’s a question that perplexes James and best friend Luca (David Pasquesi), who consider that it may have actually been an offer. James returns to the ice cream parlor, where Beth seems confused, then pleased, to find him peering in the window looking for her. The two of them go for a walk through the park. Later, she takes him lingerie shopping, then hops in a cab and vanishes as suddenly as she appeared. Beth darts in and out of James’ life, unpredictably -- in fact, she becomes the only unpredictable thing in his life.

After learning that a remake of Marty is being cast, James is convinced he would be perfect for the role -- since, of course, he is living it. Naturally, he cannot get an audition. But after a confidence-imparting night with Beth, he camps out in the casting director’s office and demands to be seen. Despite his new outlook, James does not get the role. Instead, Beth unceremoniously dumps him, he loses his agent (Richard Kind), his gig hosting a mean-spirited hidden camera show, and his job at Second City, all in depressingly rapid succession. This sends James back to Dick, and Dick to the back of the store for out-of-date chocolate.

The movie is filled with surprising little moments and charming cameos, mostly from the Second City alumni scattered throughout the Chicago scenery. James meets Stella (Bonnie Hunt), who he later discovers to be his niece’s teacher, in a record store as they both reach for the same Ben Webster album. He bumps into an acting buddy (Joey Slotnick) selling hot dogs on the street while dressed in a pirate costume, complete with giant foam head. Ms. Clark (Amy Sedaris), the guidance counselor Stella asks James to consult after making uncomfortably lewd comments to her class of children, tells him he, like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’s Augustus Gloop, is the chocolate river of his own life -- and that Stella is a chubby chaser. Mechanic Bill Bjango (Tim Kazurinsky) is a victim of James’ day gig, posing as a government agent for a mean-spirited hidden camera show, who is crushed as his long-lost “daughter” turns out to be an actress.

I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With is comfortable and safe, just like James’ life with his mother, his improv career, and his parking space near Wrigley Field. Beth represents everything outside of that comfort, while Stella is firmly in the center of it. The viewer realizes that James is doing exactly what he ought to in settling for someone familiar and comfortable, someone who will probably indulge his ruts, such as overeating and refusing to update his music collection. The pacing feels like an episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm, but the payoff, rather than witty and biting, is decidedly melancholy.