Dead or Alive Xtreme 2

Rating ESRB: Mature Genre sports Publisher Tecmo External Links Official Dead or Alive Website

Breasts.

What was your reaction to that? Did you emerge unfazed by my random inference to the human anatomy? If so, move on - there may be nothing in this review for you. However, if you cracked a smile, giggled, or immediately had a visual in your mind, stick with me here. The luscious ladies of the Dead or Alive fighting games have been lured to Zack Island under the pretense that a new fighting tournament would begin, but no such thing shall occur. Instead, each bodacious bombshell will take the opportunity to enjoy a two-week vacation on the tropical island.

As with its predecessor, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 is an extremely sexual game, though no digital nudity is ever actually shown. Instead, the game relies on suggestive situations and double entendres to get the point across, and it does so at a creepily efficient level. The scene in the opening movie with the two women simultaneously licking a single ice cream cone will bring to mind that threesome you've never had and probably never will (especially if you spent $60 on this game).

Unlike the original, which featured the term "Beach Volleyball" in its title, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 drops any pretense of being a serious game of any sort. Volleyball is still included in the game, but it is very simplistic and the controls are not especially responsive. Also, because it must be played with a partner, you will be unable to participate if your digital partner bails on you (unless you can find another one, which is extremely difficult).

The biggest gameplay addition in Xtreme 2 comes with the new Marine Race mode, which does its best Wave Race impression with strong results. Though the track selection is a bit lacking, the gameplay feels familiar and solid, tasking players with weaving through buoys and pulling off tricks in a race to the finish. The Pool Hopping mini-game from the original makes a reappearance, and has been retooled for the Xbox 360 controller. Sadly, the game has trouble recognizing the strength of your button presses, making it much more difficult than it should be.

Several other mini-games have been added to fill out the roster, including Water Slide, Tug-of-War, Beach Flags, and erm... Butt Battle. Only the Dead or Alive Xtreme series could pull off a mini-game in which two scantily clad young women attack each other with their digitally rendered rear ends. Each of these games is incredibly simplistic, and usually lasts for as little as ten seconds (and as much as a minute, usually). Only the Beach Volleyball and Marine Race modes are playable via Xbox Live, which limits the experience even further.

Over the course of a two-week digital vacation, your whole objective is to play these games to earn digital duckets, which can then be spent on additional bikinis and other bizarre goods. Additionally, you are expected to interact with the other women on the island by buying them gifts that appeal to their tastes. Essentially, it attempts to be a Japanese dating simulator, albeit without the happy ending. You'll have to supply that yourself.

The game never feels truly interactive, as everything is controlled via menus; you are never given a chance to actually explore the island. Also, the fact that your vacation ends after fourteen days means you'll have to start the experience over again after roughly two hours of play, and that includes having to "repurchase" the tickets needed to play the mini-games. It isn't a particularly user-friendly design, and it rewards only the most tenacious, hardcore gamers. Having played previous games from Team Ninja, this development fails to shock or amaze.

As expected, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 features staggeringly beautiful visuals, from the environments to the water effects. And of course, the character models are freakishly accurate, causing me to wonder what kind of "research" the developers put into a game like this. When a developer boasts about the addition of individual breast physics, you have to wonder if there is something else that could be improved or added to extend the experience.

But for all the emphasis put on the visual presentation, there remains very little gameplay to back it up, and much of this will feel all-too-familiar if you've played its 2003 predecessor. Much of what is present in Xtreme 2 could be very effective as bonus material in the next Dead or Alive fighting game, but to expect $60 for a marginally interactive digital soft-porn package is simply unfathomable.