The Datsuns - Outta Sight/Outta Mind

Genre rock Publisher V2 Records External Links The Datsuns V2 Records

Datsun 1: "Wooo! John Paul Jones is producing our new album, man!"

Datsun 2: "Yeah, Led Zeppelin, they were a good band"

Datsun 1: "We should start writing some songs, dude. Impress the bloke, y’know. Make a good album"

Datsun 2: "Naw, fuck it... We have that machine remember? All we have to do is put a photo of us in tight jeans, crap t-shirts and long shaggy hair and it writes the songs for us! Don't you recall, that's how we got our first album finished?"

Datsun 1: "Shit! I was too stoned on all that hype. I don’t even remember that. What a great invention that machine is. Making us sound like we look. Sounds like it would make us sound pretty generic."

Yes, Mr. Datsun, it certainly would. Yo, I dug "Harmonic Generator" when it was released as a single awhile back. But, Holy Lord Iggy, this record sucks.

Outta Sight/Outta Mind is the sound of tight jeans and shaggy hair, not out of necessity but out of pure, blind idol worship and trend aping stupidity. It’s the sound of week upon bong-tinged week of listening to ‘70s rock and dreaming of pulling the moves like Jimmy Page - dreaming as their hands dive into to the bowl of chips while they watch Japanese cartoons with the sound off. It’s the sound of 4 young men fuelled by a world of hype, complimentary drugs and their own souped up egos.

A good ol’ fashioned rock record aims to get you amped and excited. But no matter how darn hard these guys try they achieve nothing but cheap, distilled posing. From the first track "Blacken My Thumb" they succeed in boring the absolute shit out of any well-trained ears. It’s all bash!-bash!-twang!-yell! An excruciatingly cumbersome vacuum, void of any subtlety or color.

They make 2:46 seem like a cross country bicycle ride. At least their parents can be proud of their uncanny time-warping abilities. I wonder what John Paul Jones was thinking as he oversaw this denim clad travesty. He was probably trying to remember the shopping list for his trip home. How else could he survive days of this, REALLY!?!

Rock ‘n Roll deities, I call upon thee to smite any memory of this "Rock ’n Roll" abortion from the slates of history!

Datsun 1: "Dude, what brand of beer should I be holding in our next photo?" Datsun 2: "Umm. Depends what on color label it has. It has to match our clothes." Me: "Get off of my fucking planet!!!"