Rock Star: A Night at the Mayan Theatre - Various Artists

Genre soundtrack Publisher Epic Records External Links Official Website Epic Records CBS

Man is this ever a piece of garbage. 17 tracks, of which perhaps four aren't a total train wreck. 15 mostly untrained performers that thought they were right to front INXS. The wide majority of them weren't right to front as a waiter at Olive Garden.

This soundtrack basically is living testament to the first performance episode of CBS & VH1's Rock Star: INXS, wherein "singers" try out for the chance to become the new lead singer for has-beens INXS?a group that should have died even before Michael Hutchence's questionable death in 1997.

To say that these people suck would be too simple of a response. But to waste energy typing about them, let alone racking one's brain to denigrate them and possibly seizing from the over-abundance of possibilities lying therein, would be an even worse nightmare.

Suffice it to say that Ty Taylor's "Cult of Personality" would make him a shoo-in should Corey Glover perish and the members of Living Colour do the sequel to the show. Brandon Calhoon does a better job than Poison did in showing how talentless and crappy KISS always were with his energetic rendition of their staple, "Rock and Roll All Nite." Though falling flat with The Who's "Baba O'Riley" Jordis Unga manages a powerful "The Man Who Sold the World."

But Jordis, just like on the show, is the only woman to make any positive impression. Deanna Johnston's "Piece of My Heart" makes me long for Janis Joplin to come back from the dead and croak into my ear. And I have always hated Joplin.

The men suck almost as bad here, none more so than the actual winner of the show, J.D. Fortune with his lamer-than-Lenny version of "American Woman." Mig Ayesa's "Baby, I Love Your Way" is vomit-inducing and just what in the hell was up with Neal Carlson's obsession with Mick Jagger anyways?

Ah whatever?it's all over now. The show, Brooke Burke's revealing outfits on prime time TV, INXS' career, and this album?.all of it. Say goodnight already.