The Ex - Singles. Period. The Vinyl Years 1980-1990

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Billy B is all about sticking it to the man.

When I was ten, I was stealing cans of Coke from the grocery store; and not to drink. No. I was trying to save the kids in my neighborhood from the evils of sugar consumption. Coke rots your teeth, man. Plus it's got absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. Somehow, it's fucking currency though. Shows how stupid people really are if you ask me. Why drink something that spells "fuck all" for your health if you're not going to get anything out of it?

The way I see it, if I am going to risk diabetes on sugar drinks, I'm going to make damn sure they've got some booze in them. Beer! I mean it turns to sugar in your guts. It's pretty bad for you--especially in 20 can sittings--but it's still smarter than wasting your well-being on soda pop. I mean, grow up.

I'm the same way about cigarettes, too. Why damage your lungs for nothing. Or excuse me, for a mild buzz. Cigarettes are boring and they smell like shit. Now weed, there's something worth smoking. Gets you feeling smart and it's a sacrament. Food, medicine, rope, fuel...c'mon you dumbass Christians, if there is a god, he fully made weed just for us.

My point is, well, what was my point? Oh, that if I had been listening to The Ex in the early 80s instead of brain dead shit like Van Halen, maybe I wouldn't still be living in my grandmother's basement. I might have turned my activist tendencies into something gold -- or at the very least silver. I think that my quest to rid suburbia of stupid sodas would've warmed the people over at Greenpeace -- or whatever -- to my presence.

Alas, I wasted most of the energy harnessed in my eager young brain cells trying to figure out why an angel -- they're supposed to be smart, right? God's Congressmen (and women) -- trying to figure out why and angel would smoke fucking cigarettes!?

Yeah, these singles would've done me a lot of good back in the day. But now, they're both frustrating and kind of cute. Like the song "Weapons for El Salvador." It sounds pretty gloomy and smart, but I don't feel like reading a history book so I'll know what in the hell it is they're talking about. Who knows, maybe something will turn up on the History Channel one of these days, but until then, I'm left to admire "Gonna Rob a Spermbank" for it's coyness, while trying to ignore the fact that the Dead Kennedy's "Stealing People's Mail" is funnier. Shit, the music is great. I can't deny that. The Ex is all about jazz/punk fusion but with the jazz part hidden deep in the creases and out of harms way, save for "Human Car." I mean, I know cars are fucking bogus and have totally eroded humanity's will to prove useful of our own locomotive intuitions, but that's just kid shit.